Author: Sarah Reid-Anderson

What a challenge the past two weeks have been. I am teaching 6-9 year olds but honestly there have been times in these short two weeks where I am not sure who the student is and who the teacher is, this I will explain. Teaching in Thailand is nothing like I expected it to be, I know, more fool me for having expectations, but I did and it was these expectations that have hindered me greatly. I expected the children to be so well behaved because of the high level of respect they have for their teachers, this is not a complete lie because the children do have great respect for their teachers but, well behaved is something they are not. I know, they’re children, what was I thinking? Of course children are going to be exactly that, children! But these kids pretty much do what they want, they stand on their chairs, get up and run around, leave the class when it suits them, shout at me in Thai, and worst of all hit and fight one another and then find it funny when I make them apologise to one another because violence is something I will not stand for. If there was anything that I should have taken extremely serious during my TESOL course it should have been classroom management, because I haven’t got a clue.

Honestly, my first day of teaching was a complete blur, I don’t think it went terrible but I don’t think it went great either. I realised very quickly that the students were either complete angels or complete devils, there is no in between. I knew that my students were going to have a really low level of English proficiency yet it still took me by surprise. I obviously did not pronounce my name clearly enough because now the students call me teacher monkey rather than teacher Maggie, I mean it’s pretty cute and still an English word so I roll with it but the kids find it hilarious every time I say my name. I can’t blame them for struggling with me name because I am terrible at pronouncing Thai names, all the kids have nicknames and while they are very random some of them are easy ones like, Soda, Pub, Focus and Big. Others are more like a sound than an actual word and no matter how hard I try I butcher it. So when the students asked me to help them spell their nicknames in English I’m pretty sure I renamed the majority of them, I mean I can barely pronounce some of their names never mind spell them! But of course because I’m the English teacher not one of them questioned me and well a Thai nickname is for life…

During the first week I spent the time doing an introductory lesson so both myself and the students could test the waters. Some classes went pretty well while others went terrible. In each class there are a few students who for the most part understand what I say and are pretty engaged in the class while others do not have the slightest interest in what I have to say, one kid slept the whole way through my class! For the second week I have to give the students a pre test to get an idea of their capability. Now as I said I am teaching 6-9 year olds and I have to say I don’t agree with giving children that young a test in a foreign language they barely understand, but who am I to question the way things work. Just as I predicted the students hated the test, they were bored and agitated, and by Tuesday lunch time I was in tears. I wasn’t even the one doing the test but just reading it out loud I was boring myself.  And because the students had no interest in the test and I REALLY need to work on my classroom management, I ‘lost face’ as the Thais would say. I could hear myself shouting at the students to listen and to sit in their seats and as I was listening to myself I remembered that this was exactly the kind of teacher I did not want to be. Despite the students being totally out of control they still all finished the test and really I was just mad at myself for doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. Instead of thinking about how difficult it would have been for them to do a test in a foreign language and how boring it would have been for little kids to sit there for nearly an hour doing this test I got frustrated at them for not listening and talking over me. I took some time out at lunch time put in my headphone blared music and checked myself. I knew that if I didn’t get a handle on my frustration the rest of the day and week would just be a knock on affect and go as equally as bad if not worse.

As the week has gone on it has got better and despite the hard times there are some many kids in my classes that bring a huge smile to my face. I realise that my frustration is mainly at myself because I want so badly to be a great teacher and I really want to help make a difference to my students even if it is just with a few simple English words! I know it will get easier as I grow more confident in my ability to teach I just have to be patient. This blog has probably made me sound like the worst teacher in the world but I know I am not I just need to allow time because this experience will be just as valuable to me as it will be to my students. I am so very grateful for the help and support I have received from my co-workers because I would truly be lost without them!  While I am teaching the students English, they too are teaching me, each day they teach me about life. They are teaching me how to be patience, they are teaching me how to listen, they are teaching me how to be forgiving, because despite my moments of frustration they still give me the warmest smiles when they see me. And best of all they are showing me how amazing it feels to feel truly proud of someone. These two short weeks have made me see that in this experience I am just as much the student as I am the teacher.

I have been in Chaiyaphum for a week now and the adjustment has been a tough one. Thankfully I have moved into my new apartment which I have tried to make as homely as possible, my bed is also bug free, which is always a bonus! I have taught myself how to ride a motorbike, which I am surprisingly not too bad at! The roads here are well, different to say the least. I don’t really think they have rules here, they’re more ruff guidelines at best… My first experience driving is one for the books, I thought I had the best bike ever one that had cruise control, yes, ridiculous I know but let me explain. Basically my bike drove itself at 20km without me even touching the accelerator and to a first time driver I thought it was a pretty cool feature. A short phone call with my mum quickly cleared that one up when she explain that, no, my bike should most definitely not drive itself. So I took the self driving bike back and got myself a new one, one that doesn’t drive itself.

Life here so far has felt like its been going 100 miles an hour and has taken a lot of getting use to, something I haven’t yet managed to do. Despite there being a few other westerners in Chaiyaphum, we are still stared at on a daily basis. People are just naturally curious but the staring and shouts of Franag- Thai for foreigner- got tiring pretty quickly. Some people just look and smile while others stare until their gaze becomes uncomfortable, It was under this watchful gaze that I first noticed culture shock kicking in. A few days ago a friend and I were going to breakfast when a Thai man invited us to join him. I was wearing shorts because you know, it is 32 degrees most days here, he noticed the tattoo on my thigh an began pointing and shouting at me in Thai shaking his head in disapproval. Now I know tattoos are not to everyone’s taste and Thailand is a pretty conservative country but this was just strange! Once he had finished shouting in Thai he gestured for us to sit down so I did utterly shocked. He then gave us sweet potatoes and bought us smoothies, it was such a bizarre experience he spoke next to no English and of course we only know minimal Thai so we just sat there smiling to one another trying to talk to each other. We parted ways after we had finished eating and I drove away in a bit of a daze.

The next time I noticed the culture shock was when we met with a Thai teacher who asked us if we could help with her research by proofreading her work. I of course said yes because I mean what a great experience, also I wanted to pick up extra tutoring jobs while I am here, I just had no idea what I was really in for. There were parts of her research that she wanted me to pretty much rewrite, let me just make this very clear, I am in no way qualified enough to rewrite someone else’s research. I was totally in over my head and not really sure what to do, so I handled it in the best way possible, the Thai way. I smiled the biggest smile I could while I told her I could not possibly rewrite her work but I would be more than happy to proofread the work she had done. A very stressful two days later I was done!

With each passing day I have been feeling overwhelmed and like an alien to my surroundings. One thing I have been really struggling with since I moved to Chaiyaphum is the food. I knew that being a vegetarian in Thailand wouldn’t be the easiest of things but I did not expect it to be as difficult as it has been. I am one of those vegetarians that chooses to be so for my own personal reasons and I do not feel the need to preach to others why they should follow in my footsteps as I am a strong believer in each to their own! However I am going to use this space to have a little vent because there is nothing worst than being in this heat and not being able to find decent food when you need it! I won’t lie lately there has been a few time were I have considered just eating meat again but those thoughts quickly disappear again when I see the conditions the meat is kept in. Thai food is great, I love it, it’s just so frustrating being limited to Pad Thai because that is the  safest bet when I can’t read the menu or my broken Thai isn’t clear enough for them to understand what I am trying to order. When you have to eat out for three meals a day the last thing you want is for the task to be made difficult.

One of the hardest days I have had in my short week here was the day my friend got taken into hospital because of a bike crash, she is ok thankfully! We went to visit her in the hospital and that’s when culture shock really hit me like a hard slap to the face. At the entrance to the hospital there was a small building without windows or doors and sick people were lying on little mats on the floor. I don’t know if they were there because there were not enough beds in the hospital or if it was because they could not afford proper medical care, either way it was a horrible sight to see. When we got to our friends ward it was like being thrown back in time, I wouldn’t go as far as to say it was dirty, because it wasn’t but everything was just so old! Right behind my friend was a women on a life support machine and her family were all gathered round. Shortly after the family had left the nurses moved the women onto a trolley bed and just like that in front of the whole ward  turned off the machine and pulled out her tubes. I couldn’t comprehend what I was just witness to so I just burst into tears and ran to find a bathroom because I was most definitely about to be sick. When what had just happened sunk in properly I just felt numb, what a different world I am in now.

I do not by any means dislike Thailand, contrary to the topic of this blog, but this week has been so very hard. I know deep down that I want to be here, that I chose to be here and really I should stop being so ungrateful to this experience but I can’t. Culture shock has got me good and I have no idea how to deal with it. Before I came out here I read every blog possible in order to prepare myself for the culture shock I would inevitably experience. Despite the research and my acceptance nothing could really prepare me for what I am feeling. I keep reminding myself why I am here and that it will get easier soon but I still feel like I am lost at sea in a sinking ship. I know I am not alone in these experience because pretty much every other teacher that trained with me are now scattered across Thailand and going through the same motions I am, I try to take some comfort from this but it doesn’t bring much. I guess I am just deep in the motions of culture shock and the best thing for me to do is ride it out and then hopefully I can then start to appreciate Thailand again for the wonderful place it is, but until that day comes, wish me luck….

I have been in Thailand for a month now. I have seen and done some amazing things, and I have met some truly great people. This Friday I leave for Isan, the North East of Thailand. I will be teaching in Chaiyaphum city in a school called Soontornwattana, which totally looks like a made up word! There are 1,600 students in my school and I will be teaching 6-9 year old’s. I have been told that my students will have a low level of english proficiency so I have a big challenge ahead of me but I’m excited and so ready to start!

From what Google has told me about my city it seems pretty neat, there are four national parks which I’m going to enjoy getting lost in. I have been placed in the same school as a fellow Xplore Asia member, as much as I want to integrate myself into Thai society it is also nice to know that I’ll have a fellow farang (Thai for westerner) to help adjust to the culture shock.

I am still undecided on how much time I’m going to spend out here but I have decided to make a list of things I want to do while I am here.

1. Start a go fund me page to raise money for school supplies for my students.
2. Make the most of the free gym access offered to me.
3. Create friendships with Thai people, and pop my western bubble.
4. Find a hobby and give it my all.

This month has just flew by, I have experienced highs and lows and everything in between but I couldn’t be more ready to get to my school and start teaching and learning. I just have to sit through a 3 hour exam and then a 10 hour bus ride first, but I’ll get there.

I think it is safe to say that my first day in Bangkok was eventful to say the least. I met up with a fellow greenheart teacher, who I actually went to university with but amazingly never crossed paths until now, in Thailand. We took the sky train- yes it is as cool as it sounds- to Sathorn Pier and then got on the river boat to the Grand Palace. For want of a better word I have never seen anything so grand before, the palace was so beautiful and rich in art and history.

Before I left for Thailand I had done some research into the social do’s and don’t and one of them was that you must cover up in order to go into a temple. So I put a lot of thought into my outfit wanting to make sure I would not be disrespectful, I made sure my bottoms covered my knees and brought a sarong to cover my shoulders. What I didn’t realise is that although this is acceptable cover for a school it is not for a temple, so I had to rent out this man sized mint green shirt and wrap my sarong, which also happened to be mint green around my legs like a skirt so that all that was showing were my feet. I looked ridiculous but I went with it as it seemed a lot of other people seemed to have made the same mistake I did.

We decided for lunch to try out some local street food and although this little shack in the middle of a market didn’t look like much we definitely made the right choice. I got this really tasty spicy fried rice and a drink for around £1.50! Once we were done exploring for the day Lauren and I parted ways and headed back in the direction I thought my hotel was in, it wasn’t. I realised pretty quickly that I had no idea where I was going, surprise surprise, because my sense of direction is as about as useful as a wet paper bag! I jumped in a taxi and asked him to take me back to my hotel, then around five minutes later I realised that the driver had less of an idea where he was going than I did so I paid him and got out. Getting slightly panicky I turned on my internet data to try and find a map and in what felt like 30 seconds I managed to whack up a £30 internet bill, so that options was clearly out of the question. So before my panic turned into a full blown melt down I decided to try another taxi, I pulled one over and told him about my ordeal so far, to which he responded by laughing at me but also promising he knew where my hotel was, he didn’t. That man, as lovely as he was, had a worse sense of direction than I do, which I thought was impossible. He even typed the address into his phone and still managed to get me even more lost than I already was! After numerous phone calls and two hours or more of driving round in what seemed like a big circle he finally found out the right directions and took me to my hotel which was only actually ten minutes from my original starting place.

My evening in Bangkok went a lot smoother, Lauren and I took a trip to khao san road, a place I can’t even put into words it’s just one of those things that you have to witness for yourself. Lauren sampled Chang and a fried scorpion where as I kept it safe and when and when for the most popular dish in Thailand, Pad Thai, it only cost me 70p I can’t believe how cheap it is to eat here! Overall I had a short but great time in Bangkok. It did open my eyes to some of the difficulties I am going to face here but as the Taxi driver repeatedly said ‘Mai Pen Rai’ which in a roundabout way means don’t worry. So I guess with this fast paced new lifestyle I am heading into I should probably adopt that as my new life motto.

So I left for Thailand on the 22nd of September, after a year of planning and waiting to leave it finally hit home that this was really happening. In the weeks leading up to my departure my family and friends kept asking me if I was excited or nervous, naturally I was a little, but truthfully none of it felt real it almost felt as though it was happening to someone else. I knew at some point I was going to have a wobble I just didn’t know when. So when I got on the plane and this wave of emotions came crashing down on me I felt oddly revealed. As I took my seat the good, the bad, and the ugly hit me and I found myself crying and not being able to stop. And when I say crying I don’t mean the pretty kind of crying you see in films, I mean the uncontrollable sobbing kind of cry. Seriously I don’t think I’ve ever gotten through a pack of tissues so quickly! It was the strangest feeling to experience fear, excitement, sadness, and happiness all at the same time but I knew I needed to let it out in order to really embrace the whole experience.So that is exactly what I did, I looked out the plane window and cried until the tears just stopped coming and then I felt this surge of calmness and readiness wash over me, it was a beautiful feeling.