Author: Cassie Bricker

  • See you again

    The Thais don’t do goodbyes.

    They don’t even say “see you later.”

    Instead, it’s “see you again”.

    This phrase is specific enough to acknowledge that a person is leaving, but vague enough to indicate that the person will come back eventually. When they come back doesn’t seem to matter, because the Thais believe that everything happens for a reason, and that people will come back into your life when the time is right.

    I’m sitting on my front stoop, sipping on the last Singha from my now empty fridge and reflecting on all of the people I had to say, “see you again” to today. First, there’s the people I’ve grown the closest to in my time here: Katy and Molly who live next door and have been great friends, confidants, and soundboards for bad days; my hilarious popcorn making badminton partner P’nong, my godsend of a co-teacher P’ae and the other amazing Thai teachers that inspired me all semester, and of course, my dear friend Aokkie.

    Oy. Time for another sip of Singha.

    Then there’s all of the seemingly peripheral people in my new life- the lady who started making my cappuccino as soon as she saw me riding up on my bicycle, my awesome trainer at the gym, my neighbor who sat outside and always cheerfully greeted me in Thai, and even the old neighborhood dog (I named him Cleatus).

    What will my life be like when my days aren’t punctuated by these people?

    Another long sip of Singha and I’m waiting for the tears to come.

    I smile.

    Why should I feel sad, after all? True, I’m leaving them all behind to go back to America, and true, I’m not sure when I will see them again. But the thing is, it doesn’t matter when I see them again- or IF I even see them again. All that really matters is that I met them to begin with.

    I’m so happy and grateful that that the lives of these wonderful people intersected with my own, even if only for a short amount of time. They’ve filled a space in my heart that I didn’t know was empty, and it’s impossible to feel sad about any part of that.

    Well, I think that’s about as profound as I can get right now. I seem to be at the bottom of my Singha and it’s time for bed on this quiet, clear night in Uthai Thani.

    See you again. <span class=’wp-smiley wp-emoji wp-emoji-heart’ title='<3

  • How some amazing students defined my experience in Thailand

    Well the school semester is officially over! Ok, ok, it’s been over for a week and half now, but every time I tried to sit down and write about it, I found that I just couldn’t find the words. Even now, I’m having trouble articulating all of the hilarious, awesome, and crazy things that happened at UTW School. I’ll start by telling you about the students. The ones that made me laugh, the ones that inspired me, and the ones that made me want to pull my eyelashes out one at a time.

    For the first couple weeks of school, I thought M2/1 would be one of my more difficult classes to teach. They were shy, not particularly attentive, and for whatever reason, forgettable. On Thanksgiving, I planned an entire day of Thanksgiving themed games and lessons to fight the homesickness that had been consuming me for several weeks. One game was to have a student leave the room while the others hid a small paper turkey. When the student returned, the class would gobble quietly if she were far from the turkey, and loudly if she were close. It was a silly game that didn’t have much to do with English, but I thought at the very least it would be funny to watch. The kids took to it instantly- discussing at length where to best hide the turkey and each time finding more and more creative places in our very bare classroom. Whenever the searcher was near the turkey the class would erupt into gobbles so loud that other teachers started peeking in to see what all the ruckus was about. By the end of class, I was laughing harder than I had in weeks. As I walked back to the English office, three girls rushed up to me gobbling, and said “Thank you for the game, teacher! It was so fun!” Playing games was the key, I realized, and I started eliminating direct teaching methods and using strategy, sentence building, and recall games to teach the concepts. Their confidence and their test scores began rising and by the end of the year, they were all exceling in both of the subjects I taught them. Their shyness had evaporated, and they had become my best and favorite class to teach. On the last day of class, they surprised me by arranging themselves into an “A” and yelling “Thank you teacher! Hope to see you again!” My heart melted and I knew that this class would be truly unforgettable. Not only had their infectious spirits pulled me out of the depths of homesickness, but seeing their gradual improvements in the classroom is something that all teachers strive for. They had a profound influence on my experience in Thailand- a profound influence on me, really- and I think I will miss them the most of all.

    I’ve already described M1/1 a bit in a previous post, but it was in this class that I found some of my most unique and talented students. Bom, June, Tine, Nei, Aommy, Auto, Plammy- there really are too many to describe them here, so I’ll just tell you about my favorite, Seven. He loved games, made hilarious faces, and was always a decent student; but it wasn’t until our music unit that I realized there was something more to this kid. I assigned them a project on their favorite musician, and while the rest of the class babbled on about Katy Perry or EXO, Seven very seriously made his project about the Symphony Orchestra at the Sydney Opera House. He excitedly told me how much he loved classical music, and opened his music theory textbook as proof. As he flipped through the pages, proudly pointing to all the instruments he could play, I noticed that every single line of the book had been highlighted. “I want to be a conductor one day”, he explained simply, “so all of it’s important.” To say I was impressed would be a gross understatement. In a later lesson, I used sound clips to teach several of the orchestral instruments. This was obviously a cakewalk for Seven; however, the rest of the class struggled with anything that wasn’t a piano. He was never snobby about his abilities, though, and would carefully explain to his classmates how to differentiate between a trumpet and a trombone. Seven is obviously quite a special kid. That kind of focus and intensity is highly unusual for an 11 year-old boy, and his passion for music has left me deeply moved and inspired.

    Finally there was M3/1. Man those kids were smart. Constantly engaged in the material, funny, curious, and just flat out GOOD. I felt the most like myself when teaching them. I was able to use the same teaching style I used with college freshmen in the States, except that these 16 year olds showed more enthusiasm for the subject than any student at VCU. On the last day of class, I did my favorite lab with them- DNA extraction from a banana- and I could see that they had the same love for scientific inquiry that I do. They made teaching easy and fun and the only other thing I can say about them is that in a few years, these kids will be publishing papers, becoming doctors, and making everyone proud.

    Ok, so obviously not every class was as “Mr. Holland’s Opus” as I just described. On my first day in the science office I found out that M3/2 had the unfortunate (and l would later learn, justifiable) reputation for being “naughty” and “difficult”. Indeed, my co-teacher often walked around the class with a meter stick in hand. But even a good thwack wouldn’t deter them from talking ALL. THE. TIME. Worse than that though, was their general apathy toward school. They honestly didn’t care about English, or science, or anything really it seemed. With a look of perpetual boredom, even games and art activities failed to engage them. One group of boys, in particular, became my collective nemesis. They talked over me, they didn’t take notes, they were CONSTANTLY hitting each other, and by the end of class I would have a pile of confiscated phones, trading cards, and paper airplanes. I’d like to say there was a turning point in which they all became brilliant students. That I broke them down Sister Mary Clarence style, and after a montage of studying and singing Lean on Me, we all ended up holding hands in a circle shouting out science facts before the big national exam.

    That didn’t happen.

    By the end of the semester, they were still failing my tests and only a few of them seemed to even hear me say I wasn’t returning in the Fall. There was; however, one day in which I started to at least understand them. The topic was space exploration, which they were surprisingly interested in throughout the lesson. Even The Boys were taking notes (ok, they were mostly drawing the Challenger exploding, but close enough). Then, I dumped a bunch of recyclables on the front table and told them to build a rocket. They practically killed each other to get to the supplies. As I walked around, I saw every single student engaged in the activity- drawing blueprints, fighting over the tape, and eyeing up their empty water bottles for the most aerodynamic location to glue rocket fins. After 20 minutes, I took them outside, lined them up, and let them “launch”. And of course, whose rocket should fly the furthest, but The Boys. They were triumphant- high fiving, jumping up and down and excitedly showing me the secret to their success (a ball of wet paper towels strategically placed in the nose of the bottle). They had even made additional prototypes that they wanted to test out. I started seeing them not just as a big, talkative blob, but as kids. Kids that liked to build things. Having figured out their interests, they became much more tolerable to teach in the lessons that followed. Sometimes they were even kind of pleasant. (Don’t get me wrong though, by and large they were my worst class) It got me thinking: if you have it in your head that a class is shitty, then you will treat them like shit. Then they will continue to act shitty and the cycle just continues. Whether I realized it or not, my own biases toward the class were probably contributing to how aggravated I let them make me. Now, some kids just flat out suck, but you don’t ever know what their life is like outside of the classroom and their behavior might be a symptom of some larger problem that a teacher just can’t solve. But what I learned from them is that there is an opportunity for every student to be a good one if you just figure out the right way to teach them.

    I obviously grew quite attached to these kids- even the terrible ones. In a few days, I’ll be seeing all of my favorites one last time in an English camp before I leave Uthai Thani for an undetermined amount of time. I’m not quite ready to describe all of the amazing people I’ve met here or all of the quirky little things that make Uthai Thani an incredibly special place- because that would that mean that it’s over and I have to say goodbye. For now I’m going to stop writing and go enjoy my last few days in this wonderful little town.

  • Down the Rabbit Hole

    In America, I’m Allyson. In Thailand, I’m Alice. (The Thais love a good nickname.)

    Today was an Alice day.

    Since I didn’t have school, I was sitting in my apartment wasting time on Facebook when my landlady popped her head in my front door. She asked me a question in Thai-glish, which sounded an awful lot like “do you like fit?” Thinking she meant fitness, I said, “yes I love fit!” Her face lit up and she beckoned me to follow her, pointing to her motorbike.

    “Wait, where are we even going?? How long is this going to take?? I don’t understand what she’s trying to tell me.” Cried Allyson.

    “Girl, chill out. It could be something cool.” Replied Alice.

    And so, I hopped on the back of her motorbike and 15 minutes later we arrived at a long dock on the river. She guided me down to the water where dozens of people were feeding what had to be thousands of fish. It occurred to me then that “do you like fit?” was actually “do you like fish?” and I just had to laugh at how a simple miscommunication had brought me here. After we watched the fish for a bit, she took me across the road to the most indescribably beautiful temple I’ve ever seen. Really, the most indescribably beautiful THING I’ve ever seen. Made completely of mirrors, sunlight streamed in through a couple strategically open doors so that the entire inside sparkled and glittered. It was early and we were the only visitors there so the air was heavy with silence and serenity. I walked around slack jawed in amazement as my landlady simply stood at the entrance smiling, as if to say, “I know, right?”

    I truly MARVELED at this place. I don’t think that I’ve ever marveled at anything before. Or even said the word marveled. But today, I marveled all over that temple. Suddenly, I felt my throat catch in what can only be described as an emotional response to such overwhelming beauty. It’s something that I don’t quite understand and certainly can’t articulate well enough here to do this amazing place justice. I tried to capture it with a couple pictures, but none even came close to how it looked in person. Some things are just too beautiful for photos.

    On the motorbike ride home, I couldn’t get over the fact that if I had said no because I didn’t understand my landlady’s question, I would never have seen that beautiful temple. If I hadn’t “gone down the rabbit hole”, I would never have had this experience!

    “Alice’s adventures in Thailand”, I thought to myself, smiling. And then it struck me that Alice might be more than just my nickname in Thailand. Alice seems to be the laid back, patient, spontaneous version of myself. Alice doesn’t dwell on negativity or stress about things she can’t control. At least, she tries harder not to. I have been pushed right on out of my comfort zone many times here, and I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to go with it. There’s no changing the situation, so you just have to adapt. And through adapting and learning, I’ve become a much better version of myself here.

    A happier version.

    I hope that returning to America won’t be the equivalent of Alice awakening from her dreams of Wonderland- where the adventures stop and I have to do my lessons properly and things are difficult again. It’s so easy to be patient and kind here because everyone else is patient and kind. America is different though- it’s fast, competitive, stressful. I hope that who I am here isn’t restricted to Thailand.

    I really don’t know what life will be like when I return to the States, but I’m honestly (and surprisingly) not super worried about it.

  • Hello Teachaaah!

    I know it’s been quite a while since my last post, but I suppose that’s a pretty good reflection of what my life has been like the past month. Being a teacher in Uthai Thani province has been everything and nothing like I imagined. It’s busy, stressful, rewarding, frustrating, wonderful, and forcing me to the VERY edge of my comfort zone. I’ve had so many experiences in my new town that I hardly know where to begin. Let me start with my school, Uthaiwittaykhom.

    Right, so that’s Ooh- Thai-wit-tea-ah-comb. It took me a solid 2 weeks to get the pronunciation down, but now it rolls off my tongue as though I’ve been saying it for years. A sprawling campus, UTW is the largest high school in the Uthai Thani province. It has 3000 students, several deputy directors, and more teachers than I’ll ever be able to meet. On Mondays and Fridays, I sit at my very own desk in the English staff room. The ladies in this department are incredible women who inspire me, help me whenever I even LOOK like I might need it, stuff me with delicious Thai food, and put a huge smile on my face every day. One woman in particular, P’A, has truly been my saving grace at UTW- always quick with a bit of advice or information and a smile to go along with it.

    On the other 3 days of the week, I sit at another desk of my very own in the science staff room. As you might expect, there is significantly less English spoken in this department, so when I am in the office there is significantly more miming, looking up words in a dictionary, and pointing. There is also a lot of laughing. They love to share food with me and watch my reaction (this is when a lot of the laughing happens). Three of my science colleagues co-teach with me, which means they give me guidance as to which topics to teach and translate in Thai if the students don’t understand the directions I give them. But mostly, they keep the kids from losing their shit. These co-teachers are SO unbelievably kind to me and I truthfully would be lost in these big science classes without them.

    Then of course, there are the students. Here again, I’m at a loss as to how to even begin describing these wonderful, rambunctious, terrible kids. Overall, they are curious, respectful, and have pretty decent English skills. Don’t get me wrong, they ARE still teenagers and sometimes they can be real shits. But for the most part, they are well-behaved and want to learn. Some of the kids in my favorite older classes put more energy into classwork then the college students I’ve taught back home in the States.

    My day starts at about 7 am, when I wake up and peddle my two-seater beach cruiser bike through town to the school. At 8, the campus is full of people rooted to their spots for the Thai national anthem. We unfreeze about a moment later and the school assembly starts. I honestly have no idea what happens for the next 30 minutes, as the entire thing is in Thai- but it seems important. At 8:40, classes start. I teach 3 different subjects- science, English, and health- to 5 different grades for a total of 18 class periods a week. Whenever I’m not teaching, I’m making lesson plans. I peddle home around 4:30, collapse in the AC for a bit, and then continue to make lesson plans until I pass out on my books. Truthfully, it’s exhausting. For the first several weeks, I constantly felt unprepared and behind in lessons. But finally, this week I was able to catch up, plan ahead, and feel comfortable in my classrooms.

    It’s still freaking exhausting though.

    But as you might expect, it’s all so worth it in the end. The moments when I see a student actually learn something, or when they ask me how to say something in English “just because”- those are the moments that make all the run-around worthwhile.

    I want to finish off this post by describing my favorite and most exhausting class that has really defined my experience as an ESL teacher so far. M1/1 is the youngest and most inexperienced bunch in the school. Thirteen and wild, they have big smiles and short attention spans. Surprisingly, their English is better than some of the older students I have, and most of them genuinely like learning. I have them for english, health, and a double period of science every week, so I’m really starting to learn their names and all their different little personalities. At times I feel almost motherly toward them- wanting to hug awkward little June when the cooler girls are teasing her, or make faces at Seven when he’s being silly and fabulous. Other times, I want to throttle them all for playing too much and listening too little. We get through the vocabulary and learning part of class only if I’m as crazy and rowdy as they are, and we spend the rest of the hour playing games and running around. Sometimes I wonder if this is what being a parent feels like. And then I decide to never have children.

    …Until one of them runs up to me in the hall yelling “Hello teachaaah! I love you!” and melts my heart.

  • My first 30 days in Thailand

    It’s officially been one month since I left my life in Richmond to explore Thailand as an English teacher. What a ride it has been! My first days here were so packed with organized cultural excursions and TESOL training courses, that I barely had a moment to breathe- let alone reflect, write, and upload a blog post! But here it goes: my best to summarize 30 incredible days with 27 incredible people.

    I’ll spare the details of my very long flight from RVA to Bangkok (spoiler alert: it sucked), and begin with my departure from Thailand’s capital. I was only in Bangkok for one night so I did not get to experience the bucket drinks, ping pong shows, or scorpion skewers that some of my new friends talked about with both fondness and horror. Instead, I got to know my roommate, drank my first Thai beer (chang), and timidly tried street Pad Thai. We then met the other 25 people on the “Yellow Team”, loaded into vans, and made the 3-hour journey to Hua Hin.

    Now, these people are my Thailand family, so it’s really weird to think about those early days in Hua Hin when I struggled to remember everyone’s names. We spent the first few days exploring the culture of Hua Hin, and drinking cheap beer at the local bars. The turning point came in a workshop in which we were encouraged to share some of our most private and emotional reasons for wanting to come to Thailand. We talked for hours, cutting into our lunch break and our afternoon class. The shift in our group dynamic was tangible- we had connected through stories that some of us had never even spoken aloud to our dearest friends at home. True, we still continued to explore the town (mostly the beach) and drink (a lot) in bars, but we also had long talks in our dorm style apartments- laughing, telling stories, and discussing things about being in Thailand that we couldn’t quite articulate to our loved ones back home.

    Beyond making friends, I was also learning how to become a teacher through a fairly intense TESOL training course. Our teacher, Jon was honest, blunt, funny, and understanding. He gave us genuine, practical teaching advice, and was always very open about his struggles both personally and as an educator. I think it’s fair to say he inspired all of us in many ways, whether he is aware of this or not.

    October flew by unfairly fast, and finally it was time for the first of us to leave the Hua Hin nest to teach for real in a town 8 hours south. Her departure was reality smacking us in the face- we were going to be separated! And I mean like REALLY separated. We were going to be in different corners of this country that all of sudden seemed much bigger and scarier. Two days later, more of my friends departed for their placements. And we cried. Every. Single. One. Of us cried. We were sad and scared, and I will admit that I spent the next two days in a state of anxiety and loneliness.

    Now, I’m in my placement town (a beautiful province named Uthai Thani….more on this in a later post), and I could not be happier. I still talk to my new friends from Hua Hin who are now scattered all over Thailand, and I am extremely comforted by this sprawling network of support.

    During my stay in Hua Hin, I learned a lot about being a better teacher while making some truly wonderful friendships, but now it’s time to truly take that leap and begin this Thai adventure on my own.

    And if I can’t handle it, my new friends are only a Facebook message/Skype call/ motorbike trip away. 🙂